One question that makes sleep desirable instead of threatening. The child designs their own dream. That's a gift, not a demand. The brain shifts from bracing against sleep to moving toward something it just chose.
How to do it
- 1At lights out: "What do you want to dream about tonight?" One thing.
- 2Child names it. Whatever they say is the right answer.
- 3"Perfect. Close your eyes and find it."
- 4Leave. Sleep becomes somewhere to move toward.
Variations
- If they say "I don't know what to dream about": don't wait for an answer — offer a gentle option ("maybe something with the dog?") as a door they can walk through, not a requirement.
- "Perfect. Close your eyes and find it" is the full close — leave right after, don't check back in to see if they found it.
💡 Parent tip
Don't suggest what they should wish for. A monster battle, a birthday cake, their dog. Whatever they name is the right answer. This works best once they're calm enough to imagine something — if they're actively upset, use a physical reset like the Squeeze Hug first.
What your child develops
- Agency and ownership — the child authors their sleep experience rather than enduring it
- Positive anticipation — a chosen dream makes sleep feel like an invitation
- Imaginative engagement — visualising the named wish occupies the mind pleasantly
More for “Bedtime”
See allThe Check-In Signal
"I'll come back in 10 minutes", and the separation anxiety dissolves before you've closed the door.
The Brave Thought
"Think of one thing you're not afraid of", then build the list from there.
The Safe Room Audit
Two minutes checking every corner together, and the room is certified safe.